Tonight I had planned to make a quick run into town (keep in mind going to town is driving like 20 miles),but some storms blew into town and I hate driving in hard rain and storms. I waited out the storms at work,only to not have time to go shopping. I needed to go,still do,but its not a life or death matter. Just some center piece ideas for some things at my church. But at the end tonight,when I got in my car to go home - all I could think about was being quiet.
I talked to one of mr k's daughters today. My heart is breaking yet rejoicing with this family. He's fading very fast. At every moment today when things got a little stressful or I had a mental pity party I reminded myself on how blessed I am. That's not my father,grandfather,uncle,brother,or cousin fast yet slowly passing away. It is a dear church family member. I have two families you see - my biological family and my church family. Loosing one like this hurts the same no matter which family it is.
Tonight when I left work,I was tired,sad,happy and hungry. I thought my mom had cooked dinner so I just headed home only to find out there was a miscommunication between my mom and I about supper. I barely spoke to my parents tonight. I made myself a light supper,checked my facebook,and then asked for the living room tv because that's where the dvr is to watch greys and private practice. I think my parents knew that I needed to just be quiet tonight.
Have you ever felt that way? That you just don't want to talk about "it" - whatever the it is? Have you ever just felt so helpless because you can't think of anything you can do to help the k family. And in the midst of that,another friend of mine lost his uncle to cancer during the night last night. I can't think of anything to help these friends of mine and it hurts.
With a quiet heart,
Britt
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