Looking ...

as i have mentioned, i feel like my life is changing. yes, i'm making physical changes, and even saw a - 3 1/2 pounds this last week. that's not the change i'm talking about though. not this time,at least.

God has been convicting me, leading me to discover His Word, and opening my eyes.

i just read from  christian speaker/Bible teacher, Priscilla Shirer's blog. My eyes have been being opened,even before i read this. please take the few minutes to read it too.

i play peek-a-boo with all my nephews, and i love to hear them laugh and giggle. nephew d will play it ALL day long! he loves to laugh. lately, i've been playing like i'm sleeping. i'll "snore" and close my eyes, yet have them open just enough to ensure they're ok and not about to jump on my head or yank all my hair out of my head! i love when i say,"Boo!" and i "wake up" they just laugh, and seem to want me to do it again and again.
sometimes, i just use my hands in peek-a-boo and look through the cracks of my fingers to watch their precious,amazing,loving,crazy faces.

i had the thought, that's the only time i immediately see happy results from covering my eyes. usually, something scary has my covering up my eyes. much like the trials and path of life. i think of how 6 years ago i was afraid of the future. i'm thankful God made me see with my eyes and held my hands instead of letting me cover my eyes with them. i'm thankful that when i did cover my eyes, God smacked them, shamed me and knocked me in the head to make me watch what HE was doing.

i'm afraid that lately i've become way to content, and instead of covering my eyes i've closed them.

how about you? are your eyes opened, covered or closed?

third time a charm?!

last winter i bought Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. I worked out with it for a few, and stopped. Then in the summer, Liz and I did it for almost 2 months. So here's to tomorrow. . . and I'm thinking I'm not going to do JM's dvd, maybe something new.

I have not lost my want to to live a healthier, better life. In fact, how could I not when this morning I was down 3 whole pounds! WOOHOO! Now, if Wednesday night at church those scales say the same thing, or even just a 1.5 lb loss, I'll be a happy happy gal!

Let me add here, I have not one time deprived myself of something I wanted. Last Monday night at chilis I even had some of my brownie shot dessert my meal came with, Friday night I had fajitas at a Mexican restaurant in my hometown. I only ate 2 chips/salsa, no cheese dip (probably the biggest temptation for me so far), 2 bites of rice and beans, and the rest chicken and veggies. Sunday I went out to Outback with some friends from church who are on this journey with me. Only, let me add here, one of them has always been small, and seems to being a much harder time than me. I love this person which is the only reason I wasn't ugly to them and tell them to shut their skinny mouth! I had a delicious and very satisfying meal for 500 cals. Awesome!

So, this can and will be done, along with my new list. I'm a list maker, or used to be. Now, I'm back at it.

here's a few BIG BIG BIG items on my list to save money and loose weight for!

1) have a professional photo shoot with my 3 nephews this spring as a bday gift to myself

2) beach trip with liz

3) kellie's graduation - and from the looks of some shots of me at christmas, I don't want anyone with a camera close to me until -20 lbs from now!

hi! ho! back to work I go!
Busy B

I can, I am, and I will

be having some changes in my life.

We all do, I know. I also know this. God knows it all. HE alone knows just how much weight I will loose, and all of the other ponderings on my heart. The best part of HIM, to me, is that HE even knows the changes of my life that I can't even ponder.

I've always been naive, labeled "the goody goody preacher's daughter/christian". Am I perfect? Uh, no! Seriously?! No stinking way! I'm me. Just a simple, southern girl who has always had a weight problem, but has always had a family and group of friends who have looked past my size and into who I really am. I'm so thankful for that! Just the other night I was out to eat with Liz (my next door neighbor of my whole life -almost 26 years! and other "sis") before a movie. I was trying to decide what to eat, and she said, "Why, Britt are you doing this?". I replied, "for me. Because I want to and need to." She then added something that brought tears to my eyes. She said, "don't you know so many people love you for you. the confident,sweet, caring girl who as long as I've known you never think of you for your size."

As sweet as that was, she's never had a weight problem, bless her heart! She's tall, well compared to me, and always beautiful and small - medium size. We worked out for almost 2 whole months this past summer doing Jillian Michael's 30 day death sentence Shred. Why yes, that's right! We got our rears out of bed somewhere between 5:30- 5:45 and worked out outside on her patio in the summer in Bama! Those of you from Bama know this about our summers. It's HOTT! sticky, muggy, and hot. Yes, even that early in the morning. One morning, at 6 a.m., the heat index was 100 - it was during the hottest part of July. Our lives changed, and so did our exercise routine. Mine became non-existent.

So here's to one major new change, or I owe big time! Seriously!

There's a "gang" of us that eat out every Sunday night from my church after our evening service. Different ones have been talking for sometime now about loosing weight. Well, we have been challenged, and I can't resist.

We're weighing in every Wednesday night, I weigh in privately!, and we set a goal for ourselves. OUCH! That's been something I've quit doing for myself six years ago ..... that's def another post in its self!

So, by Easter Sunday this southern, random,curly headed, brown eyed big girl needs to have lost 20 pounds, some how some way - whatever way I choose and can do, or I owe $5 per member of the group as an extra offering to our building fund.

We talked this over somewhat Sunday night, so Monday I started trying to do better. So far so good except Tuesday. Tuesday was a day of good food choices, yet not enough food and supper was a fail. Basically didn't have anything....

So here's to lots of new things, and a BIG BIG BIG thanks to my Heavenly Father who is the ONE who is leading me, helping me, changing me, and hopefully molding me into something new for His honor and glory.

Anyone doing the new Weight Watchers????
Busy B

a time for change(s)

isn't that was this time of year is all about? i think so. i've been missing blogging so much. it's a great place to express the deeper stuff. why? i don't know. i'm totally ok with not having many followers. this is for me. selfish? hmmmm....


i don't have much time, but i will sum up christmas.

i got ALL my shopping done in two trips! the saturday and wednesday before Christmas, and wrapped them all by the time i went to bed wednesday night!

then i got sick. i thought i had a cold. christmas morning i wake up feeling weird. drunk almost, or what i would think that would feel like. i realized we had been given a white christmas in bama! wow! those words only go together in songs for us bama belles! did i get to enjoy it? ummm, no. that weird feeling was a 102.5 fever which finally broke in time for my sibs and their families to come over for supper. different ones had been sick with this and that, so it was my turn. one twin and their mom was at home sick. i couldn't hold and kiss nephew c b/c i was sickly. nephew l was the star of the show : ) he's great at being the center of attention! i ended up loosing my voice, feeling like i was swallowing razor blades every.single.time. i had to swallow. on monday i decided to not go in at work and go to a urgent care doctor. i told the doc i felt silly for being there b/c i was feeling better. he, not so nicely and very bluntly said, "you're not better. (add in total disgust look too). you have walking pneumonia." he writes my prescriptions out and then the nurse comes in with a paper about what i have and says bye bye.

i was speechless. i almost cried. what on earth?! i never, thankfully, get sick sick!

i'm much better. still sound different, ok croaky like. i'm pretty sure it'll be awhile before i can sing again. it's so heart breaking for me not to be able to sing in the car with my fav christian station, or at church! i love to sing! i want to sing! i want my voice back!

i've decided 2011 is going to  be the year where this isn't the case: "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."

so changes are coming. i feel it

Busy B